


5 times Haruka was left behind

by kindfang



Category: Free!
Genre: 5+1 Things, Character Analysis, Haru's abandonment issues, Hurt/Comfort, M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-06-07
Updated: 2016-06-11
Packaged: 2018-07-12 19:03:08
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,161
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7118677
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kindfang/pseuds/kindfang
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>+ the 1 time he followed.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. 1

The first time it happens, Haruka is too young to truly understand what it means to be left behind. 

“Haru-chan is such a clingy child!” His mother laughs, trying to remove her leg from his secure grip.

“Most children are,” Grandmother agrees neutrally. Haruka realizes later that she was doing her best to reign in her tongue, reluctant to argue with her daughter-in-law on the day of the couple’s departure to the city. 

Now, though, at six years old, all Haruka knows is that his parents have packed their suitcases and cleaned out their bedroom. When he tried to do the same, he was stopped and called silly by his mother. He still doesn’t know why.

“Miyuki,” his father calls from the doorway as he checks his wristwatch. Their luggage sits at his feet. If Haruka were a more impulsive child, he might have unpacked it all and scattered the clothes around the house to buy time. He doesn’t. “Miyuki, we need to leave if we want to catch our train.”

His mother laughs again, clearly exasperated. “I  _ know _ , Taro. Haru-chan is just being a bit difficult today. Haruka, won’t you let mommy go so she and daddy aren’t late?”

“Don’t wanna,” Haruka mumbles petulantly into her skirt. 

He hears his father release a sharp sigh. “Mother, will you please do something about him?”

The floorboards creak as his grandmother approaches, kneeling down to meet Haruka’s eye. “Haruka,” she says, soft but stern. “You’ll see your parents again. They aren’t leaving you forever. Don’t you want to stay here and cook with me? You wouldn’t be able to do that in the city.”

Haruka casts her a sidelong glance and wordlessly releases his mother. She is out of his reach so quickly he might as well have released a wild dove. 

“Be good for your grandmother, Haruka,” his father says. “I don’t want to hear about you getting into any trouble.” 

“And I’ll visit as often as I can,” his mother adds from her place by his side. “Daddy will be a bit busy with his new job, but I might have better luck. We love you, Haru-chan, be good!”

With that, both his parents are out the door, and the house is quiet and still. Haruka’s eyes are hot with unshed tears, but he wills them away and continues to stare at the door with an unreadable expression. Grandmother watches him carefully. 

“Haruka,” she says eventually, breaking his trance. “It’s awfully hot out today. Would you like to go into town and get ice cream with Makoto-kun?”

Haruka bites his lip contemplatively and nods. His grandmother usually doesn’t let him have sweets, and even though he feels… adrift, a little, he won’t turn down time with Makoto. Ice cream sounds nice.


	2. 2.1

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> He never sees it coming until it’s too late to stop it.

He never sees it coming until it’s too late to stop it.

“I’m moving to Australia.”

Haruka feels as if the ground has just fallen out from under him, freezing him in his spot. Overhead, the barren branches of the cherry tree seem to fall still, and beside him Makoto gasps. Rin explains that he’s found a school there with a good swimming team, that he needs this if he wants to compete in the Olympics some day, but all Haruka hears is _I’m leaving_.

“What about our relay?” Haruka’s voice sounds small even to him, but it is the closest he can manage to get to _don’t go_ or _do I really mean so little to you_.

Rin, perhaps sensing this, rushes to reassure him. “I’ll still be there for that! I don’t leave until after the tournament, so I’ll still be able to swim with you guys. After all, I promised to show you a sight you’d never seen before, didn’t I?” He grins, satisfied and excited, like he expects Haruka to be relieved that he’s only leaving _after_ the tournament, like that was all that Haruka was worried about.

Rin doesn’t understand that it’s not about the relay, though. Haruka remembers Rin’s repeated efforts to get closer to him throughout the year, and, with a hollow feeling in his stomach, his own eventual acceptance of Rin into his life. Rin has made him feel in ways he’s never felt before: about the water, about swimming, about competition, about… feelings themselves, possibly.

To suddenly announce that their newfound closeness is not important enough for him to stay-- Haruka feels like he’s been slapped. Rin might as well have said _you’re not enough for me_. He’s showing Haruka that sight he’s never seen before and then immediately taking it away from him again.

Still, Haruka nods, conscious of both Rin’s expectant gaze and Makoto’s worried one on him. Rin smiles wider, happy that he managed to assuade his fears. Haruka is careful not to look Makoto in the eye, though, for fear of giving himself away.

“It’s too bad, though,” Rin says. “I really wanted to swim in a pool full of cherry blossoms.”

“It’s too early in the year for any blossoms,” Haruka points out. Rin reels a little at the venom Haruka hadn’t been completely able to keep from his tone.

“I know that! I was just saying that it would have been nice.”

 _Then stay here_ , Haruka wants to yell, but he has never been that kind of person. Instead, he says a solemn goodbye to Rin and leaves school with Makoto, allowing his friend to fill the cool air with idle chatter.

The days leading to the tournament pass both too quickly and excruciatingly slowly until Haruka is being pulled from the pool into an excited group hug with his teammates, who are laughing and crying and yelling about their first place trophy.

Haruka looks at Rin, and refuses to smile for the picture.

They bury the trophy under the cherry tree, next to _For the team_ , and Haruka tries to imagine that he’s burying all his feelings alongside it. By the time they are packing the last of the dirt on top, Haruka isn’t angry or sad, just… empty. Like a part of him really is gone.

“I’ll be back,” Rin promises before he leaves, “so you better be ready, Haru!”

Haruka agrees to the challenge, even though Rin’s words sound hollow to him. He wants to believe his friend, he really does, but he ( _“I’ll visit as often as I can!”_ ) can’t. Not for the first time, Haruka wonders if he’s really that easy to leave behind.

“Haru?” Makoto asks from his spot on the floor beside him. “Are you okay?”

Haruka doesn’t answer, instead scooting over closer to Makoto and laying his head on his shoulder, watching as Makoto pauses their game. He hears Makoto let out a soft sigh, and closes his eyes when Makoto puts down his console to run his fingers through Haruka’s bangs, like Haruka has seen Mrs Tachibana do to her children.

“I’m still here,” he says.

Haruka only hums, wondering when Makoto had outgrown him.


End file.
